The Peters'

I am sure you have joined me this past week in sadness over the deaths of Coppell’s mayor, Jayne Peters and her daughter, Corrine. What a tragedy the loss of these two lives has been; particularly when you factor in the recent death of their husband and father from cancer. Hearing and reading through the news reports, I am continually amazed at how quickly people can second guess. Why didn’t anyone notice there were problems? Why would someone loan Ms. Peters a gun? Why would First United Methodist Church in Coppell have a memorial service for the mother and daughter together? Now is the time for support and sadness and grief, not the time for second guessing. When news like this comes, we too often move into a type of voyeurism, sickly using the event for gossip and entertainment, rather than to allow ourselves to hurt and pray for those most deeply involved. By the way, I am very proud of the people of FUMC Coppell and their pastor Dennis Wilkinson for being there for the family and community in this most difficult of times. Dennis recently lost an adult son to a tragic death. I would trust no one more than Dennis to empathize and care for others at a time like this.

We will probably never fully know the heartbreaking circumstances that led to Ms. Peters’ actions, but I do hope we can learn from the tragedy. Not assuming any of the speculations I have read are true, let me speak to a few that I have heard, so that we might learn from them. First, grief is important. I have no idea how much the lingering effects of the loss of their husband and father had on them, however, I do know how devastating unresolved grief can be on the human heart and soul. When we do not take care of ourselves following the loss of someone or something dear, we risk the kind of depression and hopelessness than can debilitate us. After a loss, take time to fully feel the emptiness it brings. Don’t gloss over it. This is the time to call upon friends and family, ministers and counselors and the support groups we offer at the church for the help they can give. (Click here for a list of our support groups.)

Which brings me to my second observation, true friends are very important. One of the Peters’ close friends described them as very private. We all cherish our privacy, but we cannot allow that privacy to isolate us. We need people we trust; to whom we can share our deepest joys and hurts. Someone who will take on the burdens of our lives means we do not have to carry them all ourselves. Find that person. If you already have someone like that in your life, thank them for being that person. And commit to be that person for someone else.

Finally, pretence is dangerous. Evidently, no one knew of the looming financial hardships the Peters’ were feeling. Friends were surprised Corrine wasn’t registered for college. Keeping up the facades of suburban life can become overwhelming. Secrets can truly destroy us. Embarrassment may redden our face, but pretence can blacken our heart. It is better to risk embarrassment than to let pride destroy you.

I hope you will join me in my continuing prayers for the Peters’ family, their friends, the community of Coppell, the people of the Methodist Church there and all those struggling from the same hurts felt by them.